What happened first:
Last week we found out our apartment is termite-infested and two days ago our water heater broke.
What happened next:
1. I massacred a bunch of termites.
They quickly sent back-ups. (Turns out there is an infinite army of them living in our walls.)
2. I tried to reset the water heater breaker.
The whole breaker-box-thing sparked a big spark. (Electrical fires are bad.)
You learn things about yourself when things happen in pairs like this.
What I learned:
1. Living with termites is not as serious as I’d imagined. (In fact, my boyfriend googled termites and found they are full of protein and considered quite the delicacy in many cultures around the world.)
2. Termites are not delicious.
3. I am not an electrician.
4. My retirement plan—living in a tent on one of those tiny stretches of land that people with boats frequent on sunny weekends and drink beer and barbeque on—needs to be reconsidered.
5. I love hot water!
Here’s a poem:
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.